First dates are one of the most obnoxious and anxiety filled events that one could experience. It’s almost in the same category as a job interview. From a woman’s perspective, I would think that first dates suck way, WAAAY more for men than they do for women. Mainly because we are a tough crowd.
We have very strict and very rigid guidelines that we follow. These guidelines are a collaboration of insight from women generations and generations far before our own time. The system may seem shallow at first, however, the psychology behind your actions and responses is why we tend to pay attention to these telling details.
Being that I am your on-line female wing man, I’m going to share with you these five very specific mortal sins that a man can commit on the first date that literally kills any and all chances with her.
#1) Who Pays?
You Pay! On a first date, the man pays every time. I know that sucks, but it is simply a dating sin if he does not. As a woman I WILL NEVER pay on a first date. EVER. Matter fact, if the man does not take the immediate and automatic initiative to pay the tab, then I automatically decide that I am not interested. No questions asked. Do not look at her or gesture her that maybe she might want to pay. NO!!! She doesn’t want to pay. And if she feels like you implied anything, she might actually whip out her wallet and pay, however she will never answer your calls or texts again for the rest of her life. It’s not that we are gold diggers, it’s just that our natural womanly instincts can not resist the pheromones of a man who takes charge. It’s science.
This is why men need to be selective while choosing who they are inviting out on a date. You could refer to Men’s Dating Tip #104: Know What Type of Woman She is by Looking at this One Detail…. That article helps give some insight to help filter through the good, the bad, and the worthy.
#2) Over Selling yourself
“Are you a politician?” “Did you seriously just ask that couple if you could hold their baby?” “The Bible is your favorite book?” Really, dude? Stop with that stupid shit.” We know you are so full of shit. We know! Your smooth and fast talk might help you gain some leeway with a space cadet type of chick, but if you want a real woman – a woman with a mind of her own, and one that has enough sense to know smoke is being blown up her ass, then keep it real. Real recognizes real, and you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. Keep it 100 and be YOURSELF AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. If she doesn’t like you for you, then fuck her. On to the next.
#3) The ex bashing fest
We know, we know… that stupid bitch did you so dirty. She’s a hoe, a bad mom, she cheated, she’s a slut, she slept with your best friend, sold your Playstation for crystal meth. She was horrible. Well buddy, the first date is not the time or the place to be discussing that. Besides, there is no better way to make your date feel uncomfortable than to speak of your ex. Women are catty as fuck, and compete against each other, however girl code runs deep. A woman can easily be offended by the way you speak of a woman of your past. Keep conversation light and away from the ex’s.
#4) Assumption of Sex
For some reason men automatically assume that they are getting the green light for sex because they bought their date a freaken steak or something. You notice she is smiling, she is responding to your flirting, she lets you hold her hand. Awesome! She likes you. So you, being a man, go and completely fuck it all up by saying something wildly inappropriate for a first date. Something like, “so do you like doggy style?”
Seriously, c’mon, dude! Of course she loves doggy style, dumb ass, but don’t ask her while she’s enjoying her dinner. Yeah, she might be a freak, but treat her like a lady. I don’t care if you met her on Tinder – do not assume the sex is happening on the first date.
#5) Woops! You forgot she was talking!
Shit… She just noticed that you were watching the game on the wide-screen behind her while she was telling you about her dear and precious cat, Fluffy. Damn, dude. Get it together! I seriously do not give a fuck what she is talking about!!! You LISTEN! You maintain eye contact and respond appropriately. This is the first date. You MUST be on point when it comes to listening and showing that you are deeply interested. PAY ATTENTION. This is not only a first date sin, but remains a dating sin until she is comfortable enough to fart in front of you. So, long time.
Women are so intuitive and expressive, and if you compliment that by welcoming her to express her thoughts, you will get an opportunity to see what she is really about. A lot of women are ass holes and shallow and total bitches, so let her speak and see what she has to say. There is a major benefit to this for you. If you give yourself a chance to listen to what she is speaking about, then you get a true opportunity to see if she is awesome enough for you.
If you can remember these five deadly sins that thou shalt not commit on thou first date then thou shall have more second, third, and fourth dates with awesome women.
Good Luck, My Friend!
written by: rebecca nistal